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15.10.13 23:55 
MAYORAL CANDIDATE #29: JAYMIE KELLY (STOP FORECLOSURES NOW)

A postal clerk for four decades, Kelly is now retired, 63 and lives in Powderhorn Park...which apparently is a problem for JP Morgan Chase and Freddie Mac, who have her home in foreclosure and have tried to get the sheriff to evict her - and probably would have gotten away with it if not for 150 protestors from Occupy Homes Minneapolis. (They're planning on retrying her eviction soon.) Her story is just awful - death of her husband, predatory lenders, signig papers she shouldn't have, ballooning interest payments and somehow she's paid over five times the value of her home over the course of 28 years but owes $255,000 on a $81,000 house...and even though she's currently engaged in negotiations with the banks to try to resolve this situation and keep her home, the lawyers thought that going ahead with an eviction process was really the best way to go. Occupy has put together a short YouTube video which explains it all - I could do without the music.

None of this has much to do with running for mayor, but Mr. Carney wanted to see Kelly put her name on the ballot, along with a specially-selected "political party or principle" to add to our rapidly-expanding ballot, so he recruited her for a run, helping her select her three words. (He may have put up her twenty bucks as well?) [EDIT: She actually borrowed the twenty from Captain Jack Sparrow - more on him coming right up]

When not fearing a knock on the door from the sheriff - and I'm not sure that that can EVER happen right now, and it's awful and I should just cut this paragraph off and not even make any jokes, but....look, she admits to liking "50 Shades of Grey" in her Facebook profile. THAT should disqualify ANYONE from running for office. (I just checked my own profile for hypocrisy - fortunately, it appears I have only ever liked one book...and I haven't even read it, but the author is a friend of mine. More on books and me later this week when The Loft's mayoral survey is released - stay tuned!)

Finally, she doesn't actually want to be mayor. She was recently quoted after being asked if she thought she should be mayor, “Heck no...I’m the 35th choice for myself.”

I honestly can't tell you if I'd be a better mayor than this lady or not, but I am almost certain that I would. Am I right or wrong? It's YOUR vote!

NEXT: Mr. Carney's cavalcade of characters continues!
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