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 this page generated 2.5.24 19:26 CDT (@060 .beats) Follow @CRZ |
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| 7.6.16 02:08 | | DATELINE: THE KITTY CAT KLUB - those of you who get to know me usually figure out pretty quickly that while I can be an effin' dynamo here on The Social Networks, in the less virtual, more real world I tend to live with a diabolical combination of introversion and obliviousness that sometimes puts me in a bubble of my own design despite being very much out and about here in our Twin Cities. During the Pretendians set while I was off to the side greatly admiring the solo guitar work of Mr. Al Grande and probably engaging in my patented form of swaying/Dad dancing/moving my hair around, a very cute boy approached, wanting to tell me "......" - I took my earplug out and let him know he'd have to try again. He said - and you'll have to forgive me here because I was totally unprepared for it - it was either "my friend likes you" or "my friend thinks you're...." and then motioned to ANOTHER cute boy perched on a barstool behind one of the obnoxious pillars doing the important job of holding up the roof of the KCK while also making it a major pain to see what's going on between the back of the bar and the stage. I didn't look very long to see if he was paying attention to this attempted conversation or the band and looked back at the first guy. They both had to be students and probably half my age. At this point, I quickly ran through a series of responses: "Are you guys pranking me?" "Are you sure he meant me?" "WHY?" "Was this a technique for getting a drink out of me? Because it totally worked. What are you having?" "It's my birthday" "It's my FORTY-FIFTH birthday" "You know it's really really dark in here, has he seen me up close?" "You know I'm shy at first but after you get to know me you will find I'm actually incredibly annoying!" "I'm....how do you say it these days? I identify as straight? I'm a cis male?" "I, uh, obviously have low self-esteem" "My name's Chris, what's yours?" Having now taken longer than it should have to give a proper reaction, I broke what I had hoped was a poker face and leaned back over to say to him: "OK!" And he went off and I didn't really see either of them after the Pretendians set was over. It honestly did not occur to me that I might be letting somebody down with that almost default answer. I also know I could have done much, much worse so I can't feel too bad, and yet... I know this is probably one of those "more questions than answers" scenarios and I can't give you more help than that really. We could try to talk about it next time you see me in real life - I reckon it's a good ice breaker. I don't know if this was a one-off or if I should have been preparing for this possibility/eventuality all along. Maybe I should just try to be more aware when I'm at the KCK? Or in general? Am I finally more attractive? Am I putting out "vibes?" Well....like I said, whole lotta questions. I was walking, so I took the long way home (Supertramp begins to play in the background) for some extra thinkin' time and to take one more look at the bridge I didn't know existed until last night. Video elsewhere. But this story for YOU! is pretty much the result of that long walk and me trying to make something out of it...if there's even anything to make out of it....? What REALLY struck me about the whole bewildering whirlwind affair was how brave it must have been to even approach some random weird lookin' possibly lumbersexual stranger and throw it out like that...even if it was a wingman doing it - geez, hopefully with permission, I guess that would've been another question. But anyway. I still can't do that. I don't know if I could even do that sending out someone on my behalf. Maybe I need to really try to break down some of this fear that hangs over me...start trying a little harder. So that's how my forty-sixth orbit has started. |