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CRZ is Christopher Robin Zimmerman













































































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29.12.16 11:22 
#tbt Last year, Natalie talked me into coming to the Transmission "Prom" for New Year's Eve instead of staying home doing nothing. (It didn't take a lot of arm twisting.) I dug an eBay-purchased tuxedo out of the closet and was astonished to find that it fit me. Of course, I wore the same K-Swiss Classics I always wear. I got to Varsity Theatre pretty late so I had to park a whole lotta blocks away (Map My Walk said it was 5/8 mile) but it was warm enough that I didn't need a coat. Lots of revelers out in Dinkytown and several folks loved my outfit - one guy forced me into his Periscope for longer than I wanted, but he was in a good mood so I was a good sport about it. I think he liked my hair more than my tux, to be honest. It's weird that I can remember these fine details, right? Anyway, I had a good time and really started to lighten up about Transmission from then on. To avoid a 10x multiplier on the Uber, K-la and Laura took the very long walk with me back to the car for a free ride back to K's place, where they let me hang out with them until everybody fell asleep. It was a really fun night. Here I am with all of them - Natalie, K-la and Laura - three people who really, really helped me out during some low tough times when I most needed somebody just to listen and be there, and I managed to do a really shitty job repaying them for that as they are now three people I'm pretty sure I'm not friends with at all here at the end of 2016. That's three longer stories and probably not a great thing to talk about here. I still love all of them - and you! - but if 2016 hadn't already put us through the wringer with all the death and sadness and president-elects, my failure to maintain what I had thought were some sorta kinda close friendships has really been my biggest regret this year. And I know it would mortify them to see this here now but lucky for us, they won't. I've said it before that I can be a real fuckin' dynamo online but "real life" remains a challenge for me. I want to be better. We'll see who ends up in the photo booth with me Saturday night and I will hold out hope I can still be friends with THEM a year from NOW. (c. 2am, January 1, 2016)
27.12.16 22:51 
Changed my cover photo
26.12.16 02:22 
On the one hand, some of the thermometers tell me it's frickin' 40º right now (which is shorts weather, let's be honest) despite it being in the 0200 hour, but on the other hand the wind is REALLY whipping up to the point where I can hear it quite easily from inside the house. I have a hunch that everything outside's going to be covered in a sheet of glazed ice by the time I really wake up later. Fortunately, I'm not working this week!
25.12.16 17:36 
 
25.12.16 11:52 
My house is open today if you're feeling alone. Hit me up if you need the address. And after the Timberwolves game has finished up on ESPN, I hope I see you for Christmas Staraoke at Triple Rock Social Club!
25.12.16 02:22 
Merry Christmas everybody!
25.12.16 00:26 
Are we awesome or just the first people to play this machine on Christmas? YOUR CALL. (Attn: Krista) #flipstressofthenight
25.12.16 00:10 
Christmas present #1 - a defeat of Messrs. Head and Ritchie
24.12.16 14:46 
The subject of OkCupid came up last night. I remembered signing up for it way back when, in a year starting with "1," so I could take some online quizzes and the profile has stuck around with no attention ever since. Amazingly, I figured out my password - a pretty old one I haven't used ever since it was leaked for some OTHER place. (So, you know, if you want to try to hack my OKC account....that's probably all the info you need. Good luck!) Because I never added a photo, I haven't had to deal with any interaction around the dating aspect of it, and I'm pretty sure I'm still not interested in that, from the horror stories all my friends keep telling me. My details are pretty sparse...the reason it came up was Jess was speculating that I'd have to change a whole lotta stuff on it to bring it in line with 2016 me - I said I bet I wouldn't have to change anything. This turned out to be really vague and lacking in detail so I'm almost totally correct...I'd probably slim down my body type description but that would be it. I might answer some more questions and see what kind of "personality" I develop later. Oh, and I'm pretty sure they adjusted my age range upward over the years. 76?! OK, sure why not. ;-)
24.12.16 14:29 Video - Me trying to convince you Telex did a Christmas song: a tradition unlike any other
24.12.16 14:02 
My first newbie! Hatched an Elekid
24.12.16 05:42 This new Facebook gimmick kinda sux
24.12.16 01:49 
A day late but these'll probably do
23.12.16 18:13 
Merry Festivus!!
22.12.16 14:19 Classic "glass half full/glass half empty" test from Kris: "Well, your bathtub didn't get as purple as I thought it might've"
21.12.16 21:59 
WHAT THIS NEVER HAPPENS
21.12.16 21:34 
Way ahead of schedule - thanks Pokémon GO Plus!!
21.12.16 20:46 
WOLVES WIN!!!!!!!!!
20.12.16 11:23 
OH MY GOD I JUST RESERVED A POKÉMON GO PLUS WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME
18.12.16 16:20 https://www.facebook.com/CRZed/posts/10154907620869791
18.12.16 14:42 To The Facebookâ„¢! ...the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems
18.12.16 13:56 Rather than show you a screen shot of today's low temperature, I'll make my yearly "downstairs toilet's pipes are frozen, please only use the upstairs toilet" announcement
18.12.16 02:10 Somehow I spent the entire day with Kris - must not make that a habit
17.12.16 18:46 
What can I say? EVERY year. Dude loves this hat
15.12.16 17:04 Again, when it's cold, EVERYBODY'S car breaks. AAA could get a guy to my place for three hours plus after I finally woke up and put in the call. THIS guy couldn't put on the spare, but he filled the tire with air and it didn't seem to IMMEDIATELY deflate, so I hoofed it to Schmelz to bend over.

Welp, they resealed the bead AGAIN and, because they wanted to charge me twice, found another slow leak in ANOTHER tire requiring a fix. So that was $40. Almost not too bad. BUT THEN the tech saw a lot of oil leaking from my car which I hadn't noticed before - the did some exploratory diagnosticatin' and the bottom line is I now get to enjoy the privilege of dropping off my car next Tuesday for an appx. $750 parts+labor job to replace an....you know, I just don't care. I feel like new car payments would be less than 750 except I'd have to pay them EVERY month instead of, what, every four months? Arrrrrrrrraaarrarrarrrrarrrarrrrrrrgh.

(I'm also tempted to pick up an air compressor at Menards for the garage, just on the off chance I find this tire flat AGAIN and don't want to call AAA yet again...whereupon they'll decide maybe it's the rim causing all this and I should get a new one of THOSE - hmm, wonder what they cost)

In short, I pretty much hate life and everything but thank GOD I have these exciting stories to share with you
14.12.16 22:20 Tire's flat again. I take back everything nice I said about Bobby & Steve. Can anybody drive me and Kris to Transmission?
14.12.16 18:19 
FUCK YEAH PIKACHU WITH SANTA HAT
13.12.16 23:33 
Look, I love my car. You love my car. There's a lot of love for my car, and like 85% of the time that's all we have is that love. But you've read about it here before and probably will again - sometimes it is so, so aggravating to continue to have this car in my life.

I'm still not exactly sure what caused my drivers' side front tire to be perfectly fine last night and COMPLETELY flat this morning. I mean, -10º MAY have contributed, sure. I have driven with low pressure before and this wasn't it - this felt more like the rim riding I mistakenly did in Livermore in the ol' '63 Beetle. I pulled over and checked - yep, flaaaaaaaaat.

This is where I refer you back to this morning's status for the exciting details of how great my spare held up (seriously, that vintage 2005 Michelin is probably the best tire I currently own, even with ... what, 20 miles on it now) and fast forward to 6.30 when they FINALLY told me the tire was repaired. I'm still a little fuzzy on what exactly happened - their paper says "bead leak" so I guess there was a bead leak, which they fixed, then they did their fancy "computer balancing" and reseated it on the rim. This was all well and good, but the tire was at Bobby & Steve's Auto World and the car it needed to be on was not. They're open until 10, but procuring an open bay for the install was said to be challenging. They recommended I try "between 8.30 and 9" so I talked Allison and Soren into watching me eat some tripe at Phở 79 and we talked long enough for me to end up at BSAW at 9, where I was asked to make use of the waiting area.

Despite over 12 years in Minneapolis, this was my first extended visit to the true winter wonderland that is Bobby & Steve's. It probably would have felt a lot more festive if they didn't need to keep their inflatables constantly inflated via some REALLY LOUD AND WHINY air blowing thingamjigs. I kinda sorta caught up with the Timberwolves game via Twitter - by the way, when I watch 0 minutes, the Timberwolves are WAY more likely to come back from 21 down and beat the Bulls, we learned - and it was closer to 9.40 by the time I was called down because the spare was back under my trunk and the old tire was back in place. I don't know if it was sympathy or just excellent BSAW customer service, but not only did they come through with their original quote of $29.99+tax out the door but they ALSO gave me a box of chocolate covered cordial cherries (value: no clue) AND a free top of the line "World Wash" at their car wash (value: $15.99) to boot!

Of course, here was my fatal mistake and the reason I'm writing to you now: yes, I opted to use the car wash code.

You know how these things work - I mean, I thought *I* did - you gently steer your car into the channel and little rolly things move you through the dazzling light show, foam, water and hot air and your car comes out (mostly) clean. SOMEHOW, my front wheel - because of course it would be the one I just had fixed - somehow, it never set correctly in the channel - almost as if it were precariously balanced on top. I'm pretty sure this isn't possible. I have no idea. What I DO know is - look I know I'm doing a lot of these inter-sentence dash pauses but I need to stress that this felt impossible, yet definitely happened - after a much longer than normal pause and nothing happening, suddenly the entire car HOPPED out of the channel, turned left and got stuck. Yet the back tires were still trying to be pushed along by the conveyor.

What does one do when you're stuck in an automated car wash? I laid on the horn for a while, got out, evaluated the situation, naively thought maybe I could somehow drive the car back to where it was supposed to be, finally spun SOME tire enough to make some interesting smoke and attract some human attention. For the first time in my life, I saw a big red "emergency stop" button pressed.

I was stuck and stuck good. The guy REALLY wasn't sure how they were gonna work out of this one. He was joined by another fellow - and another - eventually we had four men, two jacks (because they keep one around that doesn't work for some reason), a rather largish piece of wood which they apparently keep around because this happens "at least once a day" (which made me feel a LITTLE better) although not as bad as how I'd managed (which made me fail to feel a little better) but FINALLY they managed to jack up the car enough to stick the giant piece of wood under my tire and allow me to verrrrrrrry slowly drive the front left tire BACK into the channel, back out, and start over, being very, very sure to not touch a DAMN thing - wheel, pedals, windows, play button on my iPod, NOTHING - until the green light telling me to slowly drive past the air blowers was displayed. The two limo drivers who had now waited 20 minutes for the damned yellow Beetle with Pikachu in the back window and probably paid SOMETHING for their car washes finally took their turn. I drove home and tried to decide whether or not I'd trashed my alignment and if the tire would just be flat AGAIN in the morning.

I'm tempted to go out to the garage and look right now, but I think I'll wait and be surprised in seven hours. Yeah, I got another 7am meeting on Wednesday.

I would still recommend Bobby & Steve's for fixin' a flat...just be careful with the add-ons.

OK, there's my thousand (now 1027) words. Next time I'll just take a picture. GOOD NIGHT

(Pikatuu IS a hell of a lot cleaner.)
13.12.16 22:08 
Guys I can't make this up - my car is stuck in the Bobby & Steve's Auto World car wash
13.12.16 21:28 
WOLVES WIN!!!!!!!
13.12.16 14:41 Ollie's given me a lot of free (and some not free) entertainment over the years so I'm delighted to pony up some cash for him now that he's down one toe. Wait....I could have said that better. Anyway, please give if you can and Share if you can't!
13.12.16 11:12 
Flaaaaaaaaaat tire. You know how when it's ten below everybody calls AAA? That was me on hold this morning for way too many iterations of their "definitely not as cool as Cisco" on-hold music and requests to please use their website instead of wanting to schedule with an actual human being. I was told it'd take two hours but fortunately it only took one. The very attractive man who changed out my 10 year old spare (which honestly looks like the best out of all of my tires and is somehow even colour-coordinated! photo there) offered to personally hand deliver my bum tire to Bobby and/or Steve to "fix" so we could get it back on this afternoon - we'll see if the leap of faith I took by not immediately asking for it back so I could run to my dealer and give THEM all my money will pay off or not. (He didn't see anything really wrong with it as far as me running over anything and thought maybe it needed to be reseated on the rim...I HAVE hopped a few curbs on that tire lately but don't know how that makes all the air go out when it gets cold...but then, there's so much I don't know about cars.) So the ultimate lesson is that trying to get going earlier paid me absolutely no dividends and I don't know why I even bother.
12.12.16 23:50 
Wow! It's been almost five months since my last fake friend request! This one is Modesto, Modesto, Modesto and not at all suspicious given they have existed all of 10 minutes. This is surely true American "Alexis Ramona"
12.12.16 17:45 "Listen to this shit." (Village Voice: The NYPD's Hold Music Is an '80s-Themed Sunset Dream)
12.12.16 15:34 The Mixmag 100 is here!
11.12.16 15:08 
Winter is here - just gave my first eye roll to an Arthur Ave SE cross country skiier
10.12.16 10:40 
I woke up to find that both Moon AND Mason have already dutifully plugged tonight's event at Clubhouse Jäger, so I'm really slacking...

Hey have you heard about this thing we're doing, well, it's TODAY. It's 6½ hours away, in fact. WE START AT 5!

New for me, I've asked Mason to bring a mic so I can do at least one Jake Rudh impersonation during the night. You will NOT want to miss that!

We have been asked to keep it dancey, which seems to be a reasonable request given we did categorize the event as a "dance," so I'll see what I can do.

FINALLY, we hope to help the TCAHD give a bigly amount of money to the folks maintaining their presence at Standing Rock - now more than ever we need to stay vigilant and help. So be ready to buy some nachos! "SEE YOU THERE"
(TCAHD's event: No DAPL: Dance to Benefit Standing Rock)
10.12.16 10:33 
still tru
9.12.16 12:09 
Hey did I tell you I'm DJing with Mason and Moon TOMORROW (Saturday) at Clubhouse Jäger from 5PM? I did? Several times? OK, so I'll definitely see you there. Bring friends and money (YouTube: ORS: Moon-Boots (Tom Moulton Disco Mix))
8.12.16 17:00 
The latest indicator that I am a changed man is my selection of Cherry over Peppermint for today's office "Candy Cane Day"
8.12.16 14:35 
#tbt I can't find 2006 pictures, so here's one from 1996 from my first work Connectix Colour QuickCam. I am likely working graveyard shift and very bored. Also, still kinda mulleted. (circa September 11, 1996 21:03 PDT)
7.12.16 21:11 Man, there's nothing like a disco nap before your disco set
7.12.16 16:25 
WHOA
NEW HOPE: NOW
ROSEVILLE: NEXT WED.
ALL CAPS ALERT
(Star Tribune: The Wait is Over: Dunkin Donuts Opens in New Hope)
7.12.16 12:59 Real article feedback I processed today: "Fucking epic man, you deserve a lot of blowjobs and sex bruh" - suppose it's better than the usual "UR PRODUCT SUX" ones I usually field
7.12.16 10:27 
TONIGHT there's a rare CLAPS show at Commune, a CABS show at Reverie, Transmission at Clubhouse Jäger AND Mason and I go back to back for an all/mostly disco/funk three hours (give or take) at Palmer's Bar if none of that sounds terribly interesting.

OK, I would love it if you'd like to come out, even if just for an hour on your way to somewhere else. Come bob your head and/or butt and, optionally, partake in some moderately priced libations. My greatest hope is that you will hear something you've NEVER heard before, turn to us and say "man, I dig that thing you're playing." And then we'll smile.
5.12.16 02:11 Taiwanese animators share their take on Taiwan's Trump call - and as you might expect, they carry a bit of a bias.
4.12.16 20:58 ATTENTION: All Thanksgiving leftovers have now been consumed. See you next year!
4.12.16 19:18 Video - This version of DAPL is off (yeah!) but our fundraisers for next weekend are stlll on (yeah!) - click through to https://www.facebook.com/twincitiesantihate/posts/252170898532974 for more info, or just watch the video
3.12.16 20:52 
WOLVES WIN!!!!!!
3.12.16 15:59 And if you don't dance and hate hearing me DJ, there's one more #NoDAPL companion event Sunday night at the eyrie where we'll see some short films and talk about what's going on and hopefully raise a little more donations and/or hell. Hope you can make it! (I promise this is the last event I will talk about...today) (Twin Cities Anti-Hate Directive's event: Standing Rock Benefit: Community Gathering + Short Films)
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