this page generated 24.11.20 19:54 CST
|21.5.15 16:47||Changed status to "Divorced" (and retiring a badge)|
|14.5.15 12:00||OK, let's get this over with - if you don't know me on Facebook or in case you missed it, I posted about my divorce|
|12.5.15 22:00||Short version: Last night, I went to my lawyer's office and he and I signed the divorce papers already signed by Kim and her lawyer; if I understand the process correctly, all we need now is one more signature from a judge.|
We'd just watched an episode of "Check It Out!" and I was just about to head upstairs to finish the pre-reading I'd been putting off all weekend for the training I was taking the next morning when Kim said she needed to talk to me. It was around 00:15 the morning of September 22, 2014 when I learned that she wanted a separation. I pressed her on if she really meant separation or something more permanent and she admitted that she really didn't mean separation.
It's kind of hard to describe how the past - good lord, almost EIGHT months have been, so let me avoid that completely and instead tell you about the past 10 years and 351 days leading up to that conversation. There wasn't a person alive or dead, on this planet or any other, who I loved more than this woman and there was never a time when I didn't want to be her husband. (Even now, she's probably still in the top 5.) And I think even now I would still prefer I were her husband...but not if me being her husband makes her unhappy. And I have been really clueless and oblivious and blind to how unhappy she must have been because I never saw it coming and I was probably bragging vainly about my perfect marriage right up until that moment. I have failed her and it's a crushing, devastating disappointment.
It's been really hard to be in this in-between limbo as the lawyers have been busy...or not...deciding the best way to separate us in all the other ways while we tried to settle on the logistical part of it. We decided early on not to Facebook this situation, so I've had to be coy and just not mention her for a long time and let you wonder (or, more likely, not even notice) why she wasn't appearing in my statuses - and later, not even in my friends list. She changed her status from "Married" to "Hidden" while mine was automagically changed from "Married to..." to "Married" without a name. I kept wearing my ring because I couldn't bring myself to remove it. (I took it off last night.)
I tell you all this because if I've seemed more eccentric than usual, or more present on Facebook than usual, or I've said something that didn't really even seem to make sense...I'm hoping this explains it a bit and I hope you can forgive me for not telling you the whole truth back then.
For those of you I've seen in person, a lot of whom DID know and showed me nothing but love and understanding, a couple of whom never let on that they knew even though they did, asking me if I wanted to talk when I spent too much time silent, offering me hugs I desperately needed but wouldn't request, and on and on - I won't say "you have no idea how that helped me" because you're smart and beautiful and you probably have a pretty good idea about it. I have no way to repay your kindness and friendship to me but I'm going to spend a lot of the future trying to find ways. You guys are awesome. I love you all.
For those folks in her family and in mine who may be learning about this for the first time - I'm sorry that this is the way you found out. For the Stitzels, know that I still think of you all as family even though I probably won't see most of you from now on - except maybe here on Facebook.
For MY family who didn't already know...you know I'll tell you all about it next time we're in the same place... so long as the beer holds out. ;-)
Back to the locals: if you ever want to come sit on the porch or you're into punishing yourself by watching WWE Network and would like to do that, or you like playing the LIFE board game from the 1960s or you'd be interested in just (hopefully really soon now!) having me play you some of my records, just let me know you'd like to come over. We can have sugary pop or something much stronger. If you don't want to come here, I'm happy to come to you - maybe you need a trivia ringer (or, more likely, a trivia leech-of-your-talent-and-brains) or you like a band nobody else likes and need a +1 or you just have an empty chair - please think of me if everybody else has said no.
To my friends not in Minnesota: I'll try to swing by and visit you soon and we can talk more about anything then. (Granted, it'll take me a little longer to get to some of you than others.) Also, I have two really uncomfortable couches if you ever decide you need to make a Mall of America trip or something.
I'm hoping some of you don't need to unfriend me now, but I know that sometimes that has to happen. See you around. (I DO hope to see you again.)
You can "Like" this and I'll know you don't necessarily like it. *I* don't really like it. But I'll know you read it so I won't have to ask you next time I see you. I AM glad that it's practically official and just about all of the uncertainty is out of the way. Well..."glad" maybe isn't the right word - more like "relieved." I'm hoping this'll make me a little less of a space cadet at work and in "real life" - but no guarantees...
Oh and also, if I can't get a couple hundred likes from THIS...hell, I don't know WHAT to post here. We'll find out later, I guess; I sense a lot of oversharing coming soon. (Yes, what I have been doing on here before didn't even come CLOSE. I'll have you VERY tired of me VERY soon, I'm sure.)
Guys, things could be so much worse. You and I are still alive and we can still be thankful for that. (If one of us should turn out not to be alive...um, wow. Sorry about THAT, too. But you understand if I hope it's you?) Oops, overstayed my welcome. I KNEW I should have kept it under 1000 words.
That's all for now
|12.5.15 22:00||Changed status to "Separated"|
...that's that, then.
|17.11.14 19:37||Quick timeout to note that Twitter says this is my 18,000th tweet|
(love you @rubytrax)
|21.9.14 17:47||My wife made coffee!|
|8.9.14 21:18||Twitter says this is my 17,000th tweet so let me take a break from the action to mention @rubytrax - I LOOOOVE YOOOOOOU BABY!|
|25.8.14 18:53||RT @rubytrax: @jkalyn Come to Minnesota and see them here instead. We can have unusual sodas and White Castle|
|24.8.14 14:17||My wife made coffee!|
|9.8.14 17:02||My wife made coffee!|
|12.7.14 15:05||My wife made coffee!|
|10.7.14 13:14||RT @rubytrax: Last night my Alexey Bear met his namesake @Shved23 and it was the cutest thing ever!!! #twolves #nba http://pic.twitter.com/D8WdPza9AV|
|22.6.14 15:18||Ooh, Twitter says this is my 16,000th tweet - that makes me think about @rubytrax! I LOVE YOU, BABY! (Hey wake up, this is some good NASCAR)|
|21.6.14 22:01||My wife made coffee!|
|8.6.14 14:31||My wife made coffee!|
|7.6.14 15:17||RT @rubytrax: Happy birthday boobear! Someone really awesome must've gotted you that T-shirt xo @ Minnesota State...|
|7.6.14 00:36||He's great! @petedonnelly1 RT @rubytrax: Pete Donnelly!!! @ Grumpy's Bar & Grill|
|1.6.14 15:59||My wife made coffee!|
|30.5.14 01:49||My wife @rubytrax still carries a WWF @RealKurtAngle BIC lighter...look how much hair he has! rubytrax|
|30.5.14 01:45||My wife still carries a WWF Kurt Angle BIC lighter...look how much hair he has! rubytrax|
|30.5.14 01:23||Concur! RT @rubytrax: .@kellyakrantz is a karaoke heroine 4 life|
|29.5.14 15:42||If ANYTHING will get @rubytrax to @matchgameyeah MT @drinkingwithian: I'm not saying Match Game has a new sponsor but|
|26.5.14 17:22||@grumpymartian Olive oil, salt and pepper is Martha's recipe via @rubytrax|
|26.5.14 14:20||My wife made coffee!|
|17.5.14 13:38||My wife made coffee!|
|15.5.14 01:13||RT @rubytrax: What day is it? Why, it's THURDAY! @MyFOX9 http://pic.twitter.com/O8KBCGU2MH|
|11.5.14 18:36||My wife made coffee!|
|3.5.14 13:47||My wife made coffee!|
|22.4.14 13:20||@rubytrax Ricky has the same chair we do! MT @rickyrubio9: https://t.co/ytfws6TwJx|
|12.4.14 15:35||My wife made coffee!|
|6.4.14 17:10||My wife made coffee!|
|6.4.14 00:18||@rubytrax Don't be hatin' on my @kraftwerk game (cc: @tracytabery)|
|5.4.14 16:27||My wife made coffee!|
|30.3.14 16:16||My wife made coffee!|
|29.3.14 16:07||My wife made coffee!|
|23.3.14 14:44||Hey @rubytrax even though you're sitting next to me, Twitter says this is my 15,000th tweet so I LOVE YOOOOOOOOOOOU|
|22.3.14 14:24||My wife made coffee!|
|11.3.14 16:37||Attn @rubytrax: MT @FirstAvenue: Just Announced: FRENCH HORN REBELLION (@frenchhornrebel) in the Entry on Thursday, May 1 (8pm/18+)|
|8.3.14 17:29||My wife made coffee!|
|28.2.14 21:08||Found one, Kim! (Robert Leydenfrost LP cover illustration)|
|25.2.14 20:26||Help this woman @CBudinger RT @rubytrax: I really wish someone would champion my Kickin' It With Chase contest idea #twolves|
|20.2.14 12:35||My wife made coffee!|
|16.2.14 19:01||My wife made coffee!|
|13.2.14 18:46||@rubytrax @stpaulpeterson Rich Man!|
|9.2.14 16:57||My wife made coffee!|
|29.1.14 21:37||RT @rubytrax: WOLVES WIN FINALLY OVER .500 DUDE WHOA #pelicans 75, #twolves 88 sorry you missed it @crz @ Target Center http://instagram.com/p/jxyQIAHi47/|
|29.1.14 20:30||@rubytrax Yeah phone died, I will msg you soon!|
|28.1.14 16:03||RT @rubytrax: @CRZ I've had bursitis! It sucks. That's what it is, it sucks.|
|25.1.14 17:35||My wife made coffee!|