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13.8.10 15:06 Tarnation! I've lost two @foursquare mayorships today - hi @cbaumgar & @Katehatespeas - now I DO believe Friday the 13th is unlucky
13.8.10 12:37 Not sure it's mathematically possible for Terry Cook to steal Raybestos Rookie of the Year from Kevin Conway if he got a ride #nascar
13.8.10 12:25 And where IS @Stiffiemobile on this breaking news? #nascarnewsnobodyactuallycaresabouthappyfriday
13.8.10 12:24 @JayJayDean What's funnier, the slide whistle sound effect or the Debbie Downer-style trombone "wah wah" sound effect? #stiffiemobile
13.8.10 12:12 (considers purchasing domain name for Tony Raines...declines to spend any more money on this project)
13.8.10 12:12 SHOCKING KEVIN CONWAY NEWS AT http://whichcariskevinconwayinthisweek.info/
13.8.10 11:32 
Left the yogurt of the day in the refrigerator at home :(
13.8.10 11:32 Provisional follower #178 @CapaC1 may be the funniest follower I have and I have NO IDEA where he got the idea to follow me
12.8.10 12:46 O apple fritter / highlight of ev'ry Thursday / when I can score you #haiku
12.8.10 11:56 @KevinMarshall Are you publicly tweeting your direct messages again?
12.8.10 09:24 
YOGURT OF THE DAY: PEAR
12.8.10 00:23 Don't make me go viral
11.8.10 17:05 @DrColtCabana And how can we be so sure you are who you say YOU are, hmmm? I don't see no "Verified" badge next to YOUR account!
11.8.10 14:35 Watching <redacted> tweet is like an avoidable car crash, but their bizarre, unearned self-confidence keeps them behind that tweet wheel
11.8.10 14:34 Twitter highlight: Watching someone unfunny tweet an unfunny "riff," then pound home their unfunniness with add'l, equally unfunny followups
11.8.10 11:34 The RAIN gauge, yes.
11.8.10 11:31 I emptied 5" (!) out of the gauge this morning. I have to think I missed a day and that can't ALL be from yesterday...can it? 55414
11.8.10 11:07 
YOGURT OF THE DAY: LEMON MERINGUE (thick & creamy)
10.8.10 18:04 @Mike_Zeidler My "experience" is hard to quantify - or put on a resume - or earn a decent wage from ;-)
10.8.10 17:43 @KevinMarshall "HPOA" is less pronouncable
10.8.10 17:08 .@BringMN You say you want candidates to have 5 years of news experience - I have 0 but I HAVE been on the Internet for 15 - should I apply?
10.8.10 16:37 @JayJayDean I can take the heat, but idiots...that's another story
10.8.10 16:21 Current temp: 87 Current heat index: 99 Current location: absolutely indoors
10.8.10 13:30 I wonder if this conference call on hold music is available on a CD - I'd hate to think a day may come when it's out of my life
10.8.10 13:13 Two wrongs... RT @hansen9j: If you're already ironically watching "Twilight", aren't you obligated to ironically watch "Vampires Suck"?
10.8.10 12:32 Anyone who uses "Vampires Suck" and "funny" in the same tweet probably deserves to be unfollowed by me....but I won't
10.8.10 11:08 
YOGURT OF THE DAY: STRAWBERRIES 'N BANANAS
9.8.10 22:01 
@thecubsfan Ah. Yes. JinxyouowemeaSlurpee
9.8.10 21:56 
Upon further review, the Rey Mysterio @Slurpee at that @7Eleven only selling Barq's isn't red...it just has a red lid. #RAWadbreaks
9.8.10 21:45 
Y'know, the ARCO Arena isn't all that big - there's only a finite number of hallways and I think we've seen ALL of them on tonight's #RAW
9.8.10 21:41 @thecubsfan You were wise not to hang around for Tamina. But quick, don't miss this 1991 SummerSlam highlight!!
9.8.10 21:40 Of course, in 1994 "SummerSlam Spectacular" meant "two hours of better than squash level WWF wrestling:" http://bit.ly/ayvLce (CRZ.net)
9.8.10 21:36 
Thank you #RAW for perhaps the least attractive swimsuits in the history of professional wrestling--err, sports entertainment
9.8.10 21:28 RT @grumpymartian: Amazing! "Captured: America in Color from 1939-1943" http://extras.denverpost.com/archive/captured.asp
9.8.10 21:24 
If @ericwareheim didn't edit those "Piranha 3D" ads, I hope he's at least getting some royalties somehow #RAWadbreaks @Piranha3D
9.8.10 21:23 
So that 7-Eleven only sells Barq's in every slot....yet the dude's Rey Mysterio Slurpee is RED. What's up with that? #RAWadbreaks
9.8.10 18:49 Hooray! It's down to 90 (heat index 96)!
9.8.10 16:52 
Yep, they switched again. http://whichcarisdavidgillilandinthisweek.info/ http://whichcaristraviskvapilinthisweek.info/
9.8.10 12:54 Interesting...one of the two bills I accidentally mailed without a stamp was delivered and they deposited the check (larger one of course)
9.8.10 12:47 @dhm Technically, an unredeemed scratcher is not proof.
9.8.10 12:19 It's already hot enough; please spare me your hot air about the environment and how air conditioning is evil. Also, move to Texas.
9.8.10 11:18 
YOGURT OF THE DAY: PEACHES 'N CREAM (thick & creamy)
8.8.10 14:03 Oh, Smoke. How COULD you?
8.8.10 14:00 Does AB REALLY believe anyone watching this telecast is "new to NASCAR" and needs the Chase explained to them? #checktheratings
8.8.10 13:05 As @BackoftheHead said, TNA attempted to recreate ECW, but unfortunately they've only managed to recreate ECW December to Dismember @Lagana
8.8.10 12:51 Watching McDonald's ad for ... frapp?s. Do they still serve hamburgers there?
8.8.10 12:40 RT @SteveKrak: Kanye West's Twitter feed is like what would happen if @TheOnion ran @KanyeWest's Twitter feed.
7.8.10 12:48 
I'm now a @Grooveshark VIP. http://vip.grooveshark.com #gsvip
6.8.10 17:03 You don't say RT @rachelsklar: 2w
6.8.10 16:36 
Anthony Tolliver knows how to make a Timberwolves fan a Tolliver fan - THE DECISION PART DEUX: http://youtu.be/fvL5KRoXC00 #wolves
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