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 this page generated 23.12.24 04:30 CST (@479 .beats) Follow @CRZ |
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| 13.5.15 09:31 |  | Coffee |
| 13.5.15 09:10 |  |  Â Symantec (Roseville, MN) (Building 2) |
| 13.5.15 09:08 | | Listened to Lindstrøm & Prins Thomas - Nummer Fire To |
| 12.5.15 22:00 |  | Changed status to "Separated" |
| 12.5.15 22:00 | | Short version: Last night, I went to my lawyer's office and he and I signed the divorce papers already signed by Kim and her lawyer; if I understand the process correctly, all we need now is one more signature from a judge. Longer version: We'd just watched an episode of "Check It Out!" and I was just about to head upstairs to finish the pre-reading I'd been putting off all weekend for the training I was taking the next morning when Kim said she needed to talk to me. It was around 00:15 the morning of September 22, 2014 when I learned that she wanted a separation. I pressed her on if she really meant separation or something more permanent and she admitted that she really didn't mean separation. It's kind of hard to describe how the past - good lord, almost EIGHT months have been, so let me avoid that completely and instead tell you about the past 10 years and 351 days leading up to that conversation. There wasn't a person alive or dead, on this planet or any other, who I loved more than this woman and there was never a time when I didn't want to be her husband. (Even now, she's probably still in the top 5.) And I think even now I would still prefer I were her husband...but not if me being her husband makes her unhappy. And I have been really clueless and oblivious and blind to how unhappy she must have been because I never saw it coming and I was probably bragging vainly about my perfect marriage right up until that moment. I have failed her and it's a crushing, devastating disappointment. It's been really hard to be in this in-between limbo as the lawyers have been busy...or not...deciding the best way to separate us in all the other ways while we tried to settle on the logistical part of it. We decided early on not to Facebook this situation, so I've had to be coy and just not mention her for a long time and let you wonder (or, more likely, not even notice) why she wasn't appearing in my statuses - and later, not even in my friends list. She changed her status from "Married" to "Hidden" while mine was automagically changed from "Married to..." to "Married" without a name. I kept wearing my ring because I couldn't bring myself to remove it. (I took it off last night.) I tell you all this because if I've seemed more eccentric than usual, or more present on Facebook than usual, or I've said something that didn't really even seem to make sense...I'm hoping this explains it a bit and I hope you can forgive me for not telling you the whole truth back then. For those of you I've seen in person, a lot of whom DID know and showed me nothing but love and understanding, a couple of whom never let on that they knew even though they did, asking me if I wanted to talk when I spent too much time silent, offering me hugs I desperately needed but wouldn't request, and on and on - I won't say "you have no idea how that helped me" because you're smart and beautiful and you probably have a pretty good idea about it. I have no way to repay your kindness and friendship to me but I'm going to spend a lot of the future trying to find ways. You guys are awesome. I love you all. For those folks in her family and in mine who may be learning about this for the first time - I'm sorry that this is the way you found out. For the Stitzels, know that I still think of you all as family even though I probably won't see most of you from now on - except maybe here on Facebook. For MY family who didn't already know...you know I'll tell you all about it next time we're in the same place... so long as the beer holds out. ;-) Back to the locals: if you ever want to come sit on the porch or you're into punishing yourself by watching WWE Network and would like to do that, or you like playing the LIFE board game from the 1960s or you'd be interested in just (hopefully really soon now!) having me play you some of my records, just let me know you'd like to come over. We can have sugary pop or something much stronger. If you don't want to come here, I'm happy to come to you - maybe you need a trivia ringer (or, more likely, a trivia leech-of-your-talent-and-brains) or you like a band nobody else likes and need a +1 or you just have an empty chair - please think of me if everybody else has said no. To my friends not in Minnesota: I'll try to swing by and visit you soon and we can talk more about anything then. (Granted, it'll take me a little longer to get to some of you than others.) Also, I have two really uncomfortable couches if you ever decide you need to make a Mall of America trip or something. I'm hoping some of you don't need to unfriend me now, but I know that sometimes that has to happen. See you around. (I DO hope to see you again.) You can "Like" this and I'll know you don't necessarily like it. *I* don't really like it. But I'll know you read it so I won't have to ask you next time I see you. I AM glad that it's practically official and just about all of the uncertainty is out of the way. Well..."glad" maybe isn't the right word - more like "relieved." I'm hoping this'll make me a little less of a space cadet at work and in "real life" - but no guarantees... Oh and also, if I can't get a couple hundred likes from THIS...hell, I don't know WHAT to post here. We'll find out later, I guess; I sense a lot of oversharing coming soon. (Yes, what I have been doing on here before didn't even come CLOSE. I'll have you VERY tired of me VERY soon, I'm sure.) Guys, things could be so much worse. You and I are still alive and we can still be thankful for that. (If one of us should turn out not to be alive...um, wow. Sorry about THAT, too. But you understand if I hope it's you?) Oops, overstayed my welcome. I KNEW I should have kept it under 1000 words. That's all for now BYE |
| 12.5.15 20:31 | | Can of Caffeine Free Diet Dr Pepper |
| 12.5.15 17:29 | | Listened to Nat King Cole - Let's Face the Music and Dance |
| 12.5.15 17:26 | | Listened to Andy Caldwell - All I Need (CJ One Remix) |
| 12.5.15 17:25 | |  U.S. Post Office (Minneapolis, MN) |
| 12.5.15 17:20 | | Listened to Tempest Trio - Do You Like the Way That It Feels |
| 12.5.15 17:16 | | Listened to JFB - Ritz |
| 12.5.15 17:14 | | Listened to The Human League - The Sound of the Crowd |
| 12.5.15 15:41 | | Coffee |
| 12.5.15 15:23 | | Symantec (Roseville, MN) |
| 12.5.15 15:00 |  | SYMC closing quote: 25.14 ▼0.30 (Range: 24.94 - 25.36) |
| 12.5.15 12:49 | | Listened to Ananda Shankar - Snow Flower |
| 12.5.15 12:46 | | Listened to Christina Aguilera - What a Girl Wants (Thunderpuss Fiesta Club mix) |
| 12.5.15 12:40 | | Listened to Rinôçérôse - 323 Secondes De Musique Répétitive Avec Guitare Espagnole |
| 12.5.15 12:05 | |  Â Schmelz Countryside Volkswagen Saab (Maplewood, MN) |
| 12.5.15 12:02 |  |  $2.559/g (2 gallons for the rental) - Holiday Stationstore (Maplewood, MN) |
| 12.5.15 11:54 |  | Listened to The Doors - The Mosquito |
| 12.5.15 11:48 | | Listened to Leonard Nimoy - Music To Watch Space Girls By |
| 12.5.15 09:17 | | Â Symantec (Roseville, MN) (Building 2) |
| 12.5.15 09:16 | | Listened to The Williams Fairey Brass Band - Jibaro |
| 12.5.15 09:12 | | Listened to Mark Harris - O Holy Night |
| 12.5.15 09:07 | | Listened to Scuba - Essential Mix 2015-05-09 |
| 11.5.15 17:35 | |  Culver's (Eagan, MN) |
| 11.5.15 17:28 | | Well... ...that's that, then. |
| 11.5.15 17:19 | |  Hmmm, may have JUST missed him...shoot - Grannis & Hauge, P.A. (Eagan, MN) |
| 11.5.15 16:27 | |  Schmelz Countryside Volkswagen Saab (Maplewood, MN) |
| 11.5.15 15:00 | | SYMC closing quote: 25.43 ▼0.10 (Range: 25.15 - 25.67) |
| 11.5.15 13:38 | | Is @twitshirt still a thing? http://timehop.com/c/t:1775342412:9095642:8811113:46ef2 http://pic.twitter.com/j9JujDoulc |
| 11.5.15 13:20 | | [+] Listened to RYKYGNYZYR - Mouth Dakota on Bandcamp |
| 11.5.15 12:49 |  | Roast Chicken |
| 11.5.15 12:30 | | @davegatchell Not a palindrome |
| 11.5.15 12:01 | | Listened to DJ Shadow - GDMFSOB (UNKLE Uncensored) |
| 11.5.15 11:39 | | Listened to Donna Summer - MacArthur Park Suite: MacArthur Park/One Of A Kind/Heavens Knows/MacArthur Park Reprise |
| 11.5.15 11:10 | | Coffee is desperately needed |
| 11.5.15 10:40 | | New DVD/Blu-ray/digital titles coming out 5/12/2015 (195) |
| 11.5.15 09:18 | | YOGURT OF THE DAY: PEACH #yogurtoftheday |
| 11.5.15 09:05 | | Â Symantec (Roseville, MN) (900th check-in) |
| 11.5.15 09:04 | | Speaking of palindromes, my mileage on 51115 was 52225 |
| 11.5.15 08:15 | | Â marky I woke up this morning thinking "man, I gotta go to Maplewood!" so...it's definitely happened at least once - Schmelz Countryside Volkswagen Saab (Maplewood, MN) |
| 10.5.15 23:45 | |  Republic (Minneapolis, MN) |
| 10.5.15 21:55 | | It is @GregoryDMacP @ Clown Lounge |
| 10.5.15 21:48 | | It is @ActualWolf @ Clown Lounge |
| 10.5.15 21:37 | |   Clown Lounge (Saint Paul, MN) |
| 10.5.15 20:35 | | I predict that by this time tomorrow you'll be sick to death of palindrome tweets...if you're not already |
| 10.5.15 03:53 | | Photo - Throwing it back to December for Mother's Day - look! It's me and Mom and HER mom and.....shoot, who's that other guy? He looks familiar....or is he familial? |
| 10.5.15 00:59 | | Can of Diet Dr Pepper Cherry |